


Tactile

by sciencefictioness



Series: Legacy [5]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: BDSM, Dom Reyes, M/M, Mild Angst, Polyamory, Sub Jesse, mentions of r76
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-03-12 20:15:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13554768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencefictioness/pseuds/sciencefictioness
Summary: People had been leaving Jesse behind his entire life, but never like this.  No one had ever died for him before.  So he’d sleepwalk through his nights, stumbling around the dark of the base, everything hazy and unreal.  During the day he lay on the floor, hands shaking, eyes dry.  Time was meaningless, everything blurring together, grief blooming just underneath his skin ready to flower into something dark and toxic.Then Reyes came in, vivid like a fever dream, and picked Jesse up.  Kissed his hair, carried him to bed.  To Reyes’ bed, and he pulled Jesse into his chest, tucking his face against it.“It’s okay.  I got you, Jesse.  I got you.”There was no fighting it after that.He’d been taught to hold out against the pain until his commander came for him.  With Reyes keeping him safe, keeping him warm, he let it all go.Jesse cried until he hurt all over.  Until the agony was something tangible, something real.  He fell asleep in his clothes, eyes swollen and face red, with Gabriel holding him tight.Not safe, not entirely, but as close as he was getting.  The nightmares didn’t come, and that was enough.





	1. Gravity

**Author's Note:**

> Set in the Legacy verse. It comes first, chronologically speaking. Mentions of polyamory, references to R76. 
> 
> Not to be a broken record, but I'll hash this out again just in case. Legacy itself will be strictly mchanzo, but these side fics in the verse will not, so if you're not a multishipper, you're probably safer not reading them. This piece is sort a prequel, Gabriel showing Jesse how to be his good boy. I hope you enjoy, I'll try and get the second bit out before too long, it's mostly finished already.

The floor was cold underneath him, the sterile tile of his quarters as uninviting as ever, but Jesse couldn’t work up the energy to move.  He curled tighter into himself, staring at nothing, thinking of nothing.  They probably hadn’t had this in mind when they taught Jesse how to withstand torture and interrogation, but it was useful all the same.  Hurt was hurt, no matter where it came from, and Jesse locked it down as best he could.  The only physical indication that anything was wrong, other than the fact that he was laying on the floor looking vacant and lost, was his hands.

 

His hands were still shaking.

 

It was barely noticeable at first.  Like the tide closing in, slow and insidious, until the water was too high all at once and Jesse was drowning.

 

A mission went south, and they lost Aalto, and Rodriguez.  Jesse debriefed with Morrison via a secure uplink to who knows where, Gabe sitting nearby, watching him with an unreadable expression.  His voice was unfeeling and robotic, recounting the events like he was reading them from a script, as though they had happened to someone else entirely.  A voice over, detached and emotionless, dictated from thousands of miles away.  Jack observed with something unsaid written across his face, staring at Jesse for a long time after he finished, then at Gabe, like he was waiting for one of them to say more.  

 

They didn’t, and he frowned, signing off with an unhappy nod and a flurry of papers.  The image cut off as he shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose with a sigh.

 

Jesse went quiet and left the office, vanishing into his quarters for hours, then days.  When his squad mates knocked at the door it remained closed, with the AI ensuring them all that yes, Agent McCree was present, and in good physical health.  

 

Jesse only emerged when no one else was awake, creeping through the halls at night, a ghost that haunted the base.  

 

The loss of a teammate on an op meant time off the roster for psych eval and recovery, which he normally railed against, but this time accepted without protest.  There was no way he could ship back out on a mission and fight the dwindling omnic threat like everything was okay, like nothing had changed.  Rodriguez was gone.

 

Rodriguez  _ loved him.   _ Jesse loved Rodriguez, too, but it wasn’t the same.  Not less, but different shades of the same color, and Jesse’s feelings just never matched up.  They’d gone their separate ways ages ago, Josiah smiling at him, sad but fond.

 

_ ‘I’m never gonna be what you need, Jesse.’ _

 

And it was true, he was never going to be quite enough.  

 

He was never going to be Gabriel Reyes.

 

But he’d loved Jesse enough to take a bullet for him, and press a wet red kiss on his cheek, lips covered in gore.  Smiling, holding Jesse’s hand, blood slick between their palms,  _ tell my mamá I went saving the world. _

 

Rodriguez died in his arms, and Jesse spent two weeks falling to pieces.  Quietly, gently, collapsing in on himself until he felt hollow.

 

Until it seemed like there was nothing left of Jesse but an ache that wouldn’t go away, like that was all he was, all he’d ever been.

 

Eating and showering were too much trouble, so he didn’t.  Sometimes breathing was hard, and Jesse only realized he was holding his breath when he let it out in a rush, gasping through the spinning in his head.  When he slept he dreamed in shades of red, intangible shadows and broken glass, Rodriguez singing in Spanish somewhere far away.  The same song Reyes always sang when they lost someone. A lullaby, a requiem.

 

A siren’s song, luring Jesse into dark waters, telling him to let himself sink beneath them.

 

Jesse was KIA on every simulation they ran, his weapon accuracy down in the single digits, lower than they’d ever been.  No one would spar with him anymore.  Between the way he smelled and the weight he’d lost, he couldn’t really blame them.  

 

People had been leaving Jesse behind his entire life, but never like this.  No one had ever  _ died  _ for him before.  So he’d sleepwalk through his nights, stumbling around the dark of the base, everything hazy and unreal.  During the day he lay on the floor, hands shaking, eyes dry.  Time was meaningless, everything blurring together, grief blooming just underneath his skin, ready to flower into something dark and toxic.

 

Then Reyes came in, vivid like a fever dream and picked Jesse up.  Kissed his hair, carried him to bed.  To Reyes’ bed, and he pulled Jesse into his chest, tucking his face against it.

 

“It’s okay.  I got you, Jesse.  I got you.”

 

There was no fighting it after that.

 

He’d been taught to hold out against the pain until his commander came for him.  With Reyes keeping him safe, keeping him warm, he let it all go.  

 

Jesse cried until he hurt all over.  Until the agony was something tangible, something real.  He fell asleep in his clothes, eyes swollen and face red, with Gabriel holding him tight.

 

Not safe, not entirely, but as close as he was getting.  The nightmares didn’t come, and that was enough.

 

-

 

Another few weeks, every night of them spent in Reyes’ bed, in his arms, and Jesse was mission ready.  On paper, at least.  He’d gained back the weight he’d lost, and his numbers were in the green at the range, and on the sims.  An asset instead of a liability.  Someone fit to run their team.

 

Gabriel kissed him the first morning they woke up together, and Jesse threw a fit.  Like he had all those year ago back in the desert when Gabe put a set of cuffs on him, furious and indignant, until Gabe had to wrestle him down into the sheets to keep him from stomping off in a huff.

 

_ ‘I don’t need your fuckin’ pity, boss.  Don’t do shit you don’t mean just ‘cause you feel sorry for me.’ _

 

Gabe had held his face in one hand, the other pinning his wrists, brows furrowed and eyes serious.

 

_ ‘I seem like the kind of guy who goes around kissing sad soldier boys to make them feel better?’ _

 

He really, really didn’t.

 

_ ‘I been trying to do the right thing by you, and pretend there’s nothing between us, or at least wait until we’re done rotating together to bring it up.  Fuck the right thing.  I almost lost you, and you’re hurting, and I love you.  I’ve loved you for a long time now, and either one of us could be in the ground soon.  I’m tired of wasting time, waiting for a someday that might see us both dead.’ _

 

_ ‘What about Morrison?’   _ Jesse had asked, and it was a valid question.  It was an open secret that Jack and Gabe were more than just fellow officers, which was one of the reasons Jesse hadn’t been more aggressive in his pursuit of Gabe’s affections.  

 

There was no point in trying to compete with Jackson fucking Morrison, on any level.  Jesse didn’t have any illusions of grandeur, wasn’t that narcissistic.  

 

Jack was a war hero, a golden boy soldier turned international leader of the resistance against the lingering omnic threat.  There was a statue of him in Indianapolis outside the state courthouse, pulse rifle in his arms and visor in place, eyes staring out towards the horizon.  There was one of Gabriel in Los Angeles, hooded and down on one knee, a shotgun resting on his shoulder.  His face was shadowed, featureless, but the name was there on the plaque for anyone to see.  Jack and Gabriel were living legends.  Defeating the omnics, saving the world.

 

Jesse was a delinquent they’d dragged out of New Mexico.  Bloody knuckles and bruises that felt tattooed in the skin of his throat, in the flesh under his eyes.  He’d grown up since then, cleaned up, bulked up.  And Jesse, he’d done his share of saving the world too, even if no one would ever know.  All that progress didn’t mean a whole lot when his thoughts went dark and achy.

 

Standing next to Gabriel and Jack, he still felt like that little boy he’d left behind in the desert.  Someone small, and weak, and insignificant.  

 

They were so far out of his league they might as well have been on another planet.

 

Yet Gabe was there, touching his face, fingers petting at his skin.

 

Looking at Jesse like he was something precious, and Gabriel just shrugged one shoulder, shaking his head.

 

_ ‘You aren’t some dirty secret, Jesse.  I told him how I feel.  He’s okay with it, if you are.  It’ll always be me and him, but it can be me and you, too.’ _

 

God, Jesse wanted it to be.  Had wanted it for years.  

 

From the first day he joined Reyes’ covert operations squad, even through the residual resentment of Deadlock falling apart, Jesse had always, always wanted Reyes.  The worst kind of gravity, pulling him in towards something he’d never get to have.

 

Keeping him in an endless orbit, always circling, never colliding.

 

He should’ve known the only way to break it was to hit hard, to crash down into Gabe.  Jesse landed rough, and Gabe picked him up gentle, eased him back together.

 

It felt too good to be true, but then he woke up to Gabe pressing soft kisses into his cheek, and threading long fingers through his hair.  Sliding them slick between his thighs, mouthing down his neck, whispering low in his ear.  Everything he’d ever wanted, a fucking dream come true.

 

Except he was slotted for a mission in less than a week, and Jesse still couldn’t stop shaking.  His weapons were steady, his shots perfect, his grenades unerring.

 

Then he’d put them all away, and look at his hands, and watch them tremble until he felt the bones in his fingers rattling.

 

Gabriel found him like that.  Sitting on the bed they shared with his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, staring at his quaking palms.  Jesse hadn’t noticed the door opening, or whirring shut again, and he startled at the sound of Gabe’s voice.

 

“Jackie gets like that, too.  Before he gives a speech, or has to talk to high command about something important.”

 

When he looked up he found Gabe staring down at him, brows furrowed, eyes fond but worried.  Jesse huffed out a laugh, humorless and self deprecating, and clenched his hands into fists to conceal the worst of his shakes.  Jesse tried to imagine Morrison that way.  Nervous and vulnerable, shivering in Gabe’s arms, but Jesse couldn’t manage to reconcile the man Gabriel knew so intimately with the Strike Commander he interacted with on a weekly basis.

 

“Can’t really picture it,” he said after a while.  Morrison seemed like he was made out of steel.

 

Forged in fire.  Unbreakable.

 

Definitely not someone who would fall apart in the solitude of his quarters, fragile and sore and on the verge of tears.  Gabriel sat down next to Jesse, and Jesse slumped into him, unwinding some when Gabe’s arm slid around him.

 

“Mmmm.  You have him idealized, up on a pedestal.  It’s a shitty place to be.  He’s human, he’s flawed.  Has his moments of uncertainty, same as everyone else.”

 

Jesse shrugged, eyes on the ground, his voice more petulant than he’d have liked when he replied.

 

“Seems to get his shit together just fine.  I gotta go out on an op in a week’s time.  Got lives depending on me, and-” Jesse held his palm out flat, and they both watch it quiver.  

 

It wasn’t just about his hands.

 

Those shakes went all the way down into him, lived in his bones.  Beat along with his heart, swelled up in his lungs.  Everything unsettled and unsteady, and Jesse couldn’t afford to be anything but rock solid.

 

If someone else died because of him, Jesse didn’t think he’d come back from it.

 

Gabriel rubbed a hand up and down his back, making a noise in his throat like he disagreed.

 

“He gets his shit together, but not always by himself.  He needs a little help, sometimes.  Me and Jack have been together awhile, I know how to give him what he needs, put him in the right headspace.  Might work for you, too, if you wanted to try it,” Gabe said, voice soothing and certain.

 

Jesse frowned, shooting Gabriel a confused look.

 

“I ain’t sure exactly what you mean, boss.”

 

Gabriel sucked air through his teeth, tugging halfheartedly on Jesse’s hair.

 

“Told you not to call me that when it’s just us,” he said, and Jesse grinned.

 

“I ain’t sure exactly what you mean, _ Gabriel Cesario Reyes-Santos,”  _ Jesse said. His Spanish was flawless, but Jesse laid his accent on ridiculously thick as his mouth worked over Gabe’s name.  Gabriel rolled his eyes, but smiled, continuing like he wasn’t being baited.

 

“When Jack gets all stressed and twitchy, we usually do a scene together.  You know what a scene is, yeah?”

 

Jesse did, but he was still anxious, and teasing Gabe was as good a way as any to try and mask his discomfort.

 

“Y’all recitin’ Shakespeare to each other in here when he’s around?  Didn’t peg you for a theatre nerd.”

 

Gabriel laughed, a small and indulgent thing, running a hand affectionately through Jesse’s hair.

 

“I’m being serious.  Do I need to educate you on the semantics of bondage or not?”

 

Jesse opened and closed his hands, chewing on his bottom lip, mind working around new information the way it always did.  Like he was looking at intelligence, readying for a mission.

 

In this case, the intelligence didn’t really line out for him the way Gabe seemed to expect.

 

“Can’t really picture that, neither,” he said, looking up at Reyes questioningly, “you and Morrison with whips and chains and all that.  How’s s’at work, exactly?”  

 

Gabe cocked his head, free hand coming up to rub over the stubble of his beard, scratching through it thoughtfully.

 

“Mmmmmm.  No whips or chains, technically.  Jack subs, I Dom.  What we do kinda varies depending on the situation, we’ve been together long enough that I know what he likes, what he needs.  We don’t always have time to do anything fancy.  A lot of it’s just me putting him on his knees, letting him give up control for a while.  Take his orders from someone he loves, instead of a bunch of fucking assholes who’d sell him out at the drop of a hat if they thought it would look good on their resumes.  Basic bondage, hair pulling, light spankings.  

 

“It’s not physically demanding, not for people like us.  It’s more about the mental space it puts you in than anything.  I think it could help you, too, if it was something you were interested in trying.  Not the same reasons it helps Jack, granted, but helpful all the same.”  Gabe ran a hand through Jesse’s hair again, untangling the strands gently, nosing into it.  “Jackie needs to be bossed around, but I think you just need to be my good boy for a while.  Know that I’ll be there to take care of you.  That I got your back, no matter what.”

 

Where his mind came up blank before, now it ran wild, supplying an endless array of images and scenarios.

 

Jack Morrison on his knees in front of Gabe, Gabe’s fist in hair, tugging his head back.  Jack bent over his lap, Gabe’s fingers splayed out over his ass, raining down blows.  There was the barest twinge of jealousy at the thought, something vestigial he should have been over, but they were working on it, talking about it.  Jesse had moved past the worst of his envy a long time ago, grateful that Gabe had Jack to turn to, that he wasn’t bearing the weight of the fucking world all by himself.

 

No one who dealt with the kind of things they did should have to go through it alone.

 

What was left of his resentment for Jack flared sometimes, ugly and brief, but it wasn’t anyone’s fault but his own.  Insecurities that had always been there under the surface.  Things he needed to acknowledge, address, and let go.  Gabriel assured him it was normal, that relationships like theirs took effort, and that he was willing to do whatever he had to in order to make things work as long as Jesse would do the same.  So the idea of Gabe and Jack together that way, Jack bound or gagged or blindfolded, didn't bother Jesse like it might once have.

Mostly it just made heat rush through him, vicious and lustful and overpowering.

 

Then he pictured himself there instead, kneeling obediently at Gabriel’s feet, blinking up at him through blown pupils.  It was startling, how much he wanted it.  

 

Jesse had been put on his knees before.  Forced to someone’s  _ good boy,  _ and once he’d left Deadlock behind he’d sworn to himself he’d never let anyone own him like that ever again.

 

But Gabriel Reyes wasn’t some piece of Deadlock trash out to use Jesse like a toy, to take advantage of him.  

 

Gabe had pulled Jesse out of hell, and made him into someone better.  Made him stronger, and smarter, and faster.  Shaped Jesse into the best version of himself, and need pooled in his guts, hot like fire, eating him alive.

 

Jesse had never wanted to please anyone the way he wanted to please Gabriel, to make him proud, to do well for him.  Every shot he fired, every mission he ran, every punch he threw.

 

Every breath he took was to prove to himself that Gabriel hadn’t made a mistake in giving him a second chance.  Gabe would keep him safe, or die trying.

 

And  _ god,  _ he’d give almost anything to be Gabriel Reyes’  _ good boy. _

 

It must have been written all over his face, because Gabriel smiled, and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

 

“Think about it tonight, we’ll talk about it tomorrow.  Take as much time as you need.”

 

Jesse wasn't sure he'd ever sleep again.


	2. Weightless

As much time as he needed turned out to be a couple of days, mostly because Gabriel insisted he think on it at least that long before making any decisions.  They had a conversation about kinks, and limitations, and Jack. It should have been awkward, but Jesse was too busy fighting a hard on to be embarrassed as Gabriel asked about turn offs and triggers and safe words.

 

_ ‘You sure Morrison is okay with you telling me all this?’  _ Jesse had asked after Gabe told him a story about the pitfalls of using pilfered military police handcuffs in the bedroom, and an unfortunate meeting Jack had been forced to attend with bruises ringing his wrists.  ‘A training accident,’ he’d insisted to his higher ups, and it wasn’t precisely a lie.

 

He’d just been a bit vague on what, exactly, he’d been training for.

 

Gabe had shrugged at Jesse’s question, and smirked.

 

_ ‘I asked first.  He wants me to tell him about your first scene, afterwards, if it’s okay with you.  So it’s only fair I tell you about some of his.’ _

 

Jesse had made a face, confusion with a hint of disbelief, part of his brain still fighting to wrap around the idea that Jack was really on board with his long-time boyfriend fucking someone else.  

 

_ ‘Morrison  _ what? _  Why?’ _

 

Gabe had grinned wide, and tucked a strand of Jesse’s hair behind his ear, eyes shining with mischief.

 

_ ‘Jackie thinks you’re cute.  Muscled up pretty boy on his knees for me, who wouldn’t want a play by play?  I’ll talk him through it real nice during our next video conference. Explicitly, even.  But only if you don’t mind.’ _

 

Jesse had nodded stupidly, barely processing the rest of what Gabriel had said, mind tripping over the fact that Jack Morrison thought he was  _ cute. _

 

That he wanted to get off listening to Gabriel talk about Jesse. That he’d be sitting halfway around the world, staring at Gabe’s face on a tablet screen with a hand on his cock,  _ ‘And then what, Gabriel?’ _

 

Like Jesse was someone worthwhile.

 

A few days later, and Jesse’s hands were still shaking.  

 

Right up until he walked out of Gabriel’s bathroom, freshly showered and wearing nothing but a towel around his hips.  Gabriel sat on the bed, shirtless with his knees wide, staring openly. He bit his bottom lip, eyes roving up and down Jesse with unguarded desire written in them, and Jesse felt his heart stuttering uneven in his chest.

 

Being wanted by Gabriel was still strange.  Something he wasn’t used to, wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to, and Jesse swallowed around the wounded sound he wanted to make, and shoved the feeling down.

 

“You good to go?” Gabe asked, and Jesse nodded, falling into a parade rest without thinking.

 

“Yes, sir.”  

 

Gabe tried and failed to fight down a smile, reaching up to run a hand through his own dark curls.

 

“Step out of that ‘at ease’ bullshit and come here,” Gabe said, amused but not unkind.  Jesse relaxed his stance, taking a few steps forward until he was right in front of Gabe, hands hovering awkwardly at his sides.  “You aren’t some soldier boy right now, Jesse.” Gabriel reached out, fingertips trailing up Jesse’s abdomen, flitting over his stomach.  He clutched at his hips, and Jesse’s muscles twitched under the touch, mouth going dry as Gabe looked up at him from underneath his lashes.  “You’re just  _ my  _ boy.  All right?”

 

Jesse let out a shaky breath and nodded, unsure of how to stand, where to put his hands, what to do.  Gabriel scratched his fingers through the thick trail of hair on Jesse’s belly for a moment before letting his hand drop away.

 

“Toss that towel and get on your knees for me.”

 

Jesse complied, grateful for an order to follow in the wake of the nerves twisting through his guts.  The floor was hard underneath him, and Jesse shifted in place, looking up at Gabriel expectantly. Something pressed at the inside of Jesse’s thigh, and he glanced down to find Gabriel’s bare toes there, easing his knees further apart.

 

“Open up a little wider.  Ass on your heels, toes pointed behind you.  Put the top of your foot flat against the floor, not curled under like that.  Back straight, shoulders squared, hands behind you. Let’s get you sitting pretty for me.”  

 

Jesse yielded, letting Gabe guide his shoulders back, shifting around until he was where Gabriel wanted him.  He held his hands behind him, not entirely sure he was doing it right. Then Gabriel’s fingers slid over his jaw, tilting his head up, exposing the column of his throat.  He held him there, thumb under his chin, looking down at Jesse with something like reverence.

 

“Chin up, there you go.  Perfect. I tell you to kneel, you sit just like this for me, understand?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jesse said, memorizing the position, the way his body was held taut.  Utterly unmoving, frozen in place.

 

Ready to be used however Gabriel saw fit, and Jesse’s breathing picked up as his cheeks flushed red.  Gabriel exhaled rough, fingers sliding into Jesse’s hair, eyes darting this way and that like he couldn’t decide where he wanted to let them settle.

 

Like Jesse was a work of art he needed to appreciate.

 

Like he was a feast, and Gabriel was ravenous, but didn’t know where to start.

 

“Christ, just look at you.  You’re fucking gorgeous like this, Jesse.”

 

Jesse let out a ragged sound, unprepared for how visceral his reaction to such a thing would be.  Gabriel had told him he was attractive dozens of times before, but it was different right then. Vivid, potent.  There was no burying his face in Gabriel’s neck, or teasing him about losing his touch, no accusations of going soft.

 

There was no hiding from it, Gabriel’s unabashed adoration, and something dark coiled in his chest.  He didn’t deserve this, not any of it— Gabriel’s gentle affection, his fingers careful in Jesse’s hair, Gabe’s thumb stroking back and forth over Jesse’s cheek.  Jesse felt himself spiraling, thoughts trying go somewhere bleak. Somewhere rusted and sharp and achy, shadows yawning open and heavy and threatening to draw Jesse down.

 

“Hey,”  Gabriel said firmly, palms on either side of Jesse’s face now, forcing his eyes up, “you stay with me here, okay?”  Jesse nodded, and Gabriel ran a thumb over his bottom lip, just this side of rough. “If I ask you a question, and you’re not wearing a gag, I want to hear your answer.  Yes, sir. No sir. Got it?”

 

“Yes, sir,” Jesse said, back in the moment, focused on Gabe.  

 

Gabriel slipped his thumb in Jesse’s mouth, and he licked at it instinctively, tongue swirling and lapping.  

 

“Yeah, there’s my good boy, just like that.  I put something in your mouth, I want you to suck it.”

 

The encouragement was like a balm, smoothing down all the frayed edges in Jesse, and he pulled Gabriel’s thumb further into his mouth with a quiet whine.  He sucked harder, worked his tongue messily, leaning forward into Gabriel’s space. Desperate for more of Gabriel’s approval, and Jesse’s palms slid up Gabe’s thighs, clutching at them, creeping higher.  It hadn’t been a conscious decision, but his body moving on autopilot, seeking more of Gabriel’s skin. Jesse only noticed he’d moved his hands when Gabe’s thumb was gone from his mouth, long fingers closing around Jesse’s wrists.  

 

“No hands, cariño,” Gabe chided, easing Jesse’s hands behind him again, “you don’t need them right now.  Besides,” he said, kissing Jesse’s throat while he was pressed in close, murmuring into his skin, “can’t have you tempted to touch yourself while I use this pretty mouth, can I?”

 

Jesse clenched his fists hard where Gabriel had them pinned behind his back and shook his head.  Licked his lips, and took a deep breath, thighs flexing with the need to come together. He’d never actually gone down on Gabe before, in spite of all the hours they’d spent in his bed together, and now Jesse wondered if it had been deliberate.

 

If Gabriel had been saving it for this moment, anticipating, planning.  Jesse wouldn’t put it past him, lining up all his pieces that far in advance.

 

Using every tool he had at his disposal to have Jesse shaking, wrecked and taken care of all at once.

 

“No, sir,” Jesse said, and Gabriel smirked.

 

“Mmmm.  Good.”

 

Gabe released Jesse’s face, working his cock out of his boxers with one hand, the other fisting in Jesse’s hair.  Not pulling, but tight in the strands, just enough to have his head craning back. It made Jesse throb, dick hard and slick and totally ignored where it bobbed between his legs.  He’d seen Gabriel naked plenty of times, but never this close up, cock half erect and right in his face. Jesse tried to surge forward and take it into his mouth, and Gabe’s fingers went tighter, holding him in place.  He licked his lips again, looking up at Gabriel with a pleading expression, mouth watering with the need to taste him.

 

“What do you want, baby?”  Gabriel asked, and Jesse’s eyes dropped down to his cock again, glittering with need.

 

“Wanna suck you off.  Sir,” he added, an afterthought, tugging harder against Gabe’s grip on his hair.  

 

Gabriel stroked himself a few times, cock swelling to full hardness as Jesse watched, saliva pooling under his tongue.

 

“You can do better than that.  I’ve heard you sweet talk your way out of so much trouble.  Half the time you’re sweet talking  _ me, _ c’mon Jesse.  Ask nice, tell me how much you want it.”

 

Jesse swallowed, pulling like he was trying to get out of Gabriel’s hold, and Gabe sank his fingers in deep.  Wrenched Jesse’s head back further, Gabe’s thumb circling the tip of his cock— toying with his own foreskin, and Jesse groaned, and started begging.

 

“Please, let me suck you off, been wantin’ ta get my mouth on you for so long.  Used to dream about it, ‘fore we got together, how you would taste. Please, boss— sir, shit.  Let me taste you, I need to, I’ll-” Gabriel cut him off, sounding so fond it made Jesse’s chest hurt, hand relaxing in his hair.

 

“Yeah, okay.  Okay.”

 

Gabriel wrapped his free hand around the base of his cock to hold it steady, nails scratching lightly at Jesse’s scalp, and let Jesse swallow him down.  He wasn’t a stranger to having a dick in his mouth, but it had been a long time, and this was  _ Gabriel.   _ Jesse needed to be good, needed to get Gabriel right where he was, shivery and raw and overwhelmed.

 

Needed to make him proud, always, in everything he did.

 

His nails bit into his palms as he fought to keep his hands behind him, and Jesse took Gabriel into his mouth with a whine.  He was thick, heavy on Jesse’s tongue, his crown salty with precome. Enough girth that Jesse’s mouth felt overfull, even with just the tip sucked between his lips, and he knew it wouldn’t be long before his jaw was aching. 

Perfect, Gabe was perfect, and Jesse couldn’t help how eager he was to feel every last inch.  

 

Jesse sank down on him, eyes watering when Gabriel’s cock nudged at his throat.  Too much, too fast, but Jesse didn’t slow, backing off almost entirely before taking him in again.  The rhythm he set was punishing, and Jesse wasn’t quiet, or careful. Wet noises filled the room, along with Jesse’s breathy whimpers, loud even to his own ears.  Drool leaked from the corners of his mouth and dripped down his chin, lips stretched obscenely around Gabe’s shaft.

 

He dropped further onto Gabriel’s cock each time, burying his nose in the coarse hair on his belly, breathing in the heady scent of him even as he gagged.  The sharp discomfort wasn’t enough to make him pull away. Jesse loved it, the way all of his senses were overwhelmed with nothing but Gabe. Gabe on his tongue, and in his nose, and against his skin.  

 

In his ear, Gabriel’s soft, subdued groans.  Almost too low to hear, but Jesse could feel them, and they set him alight.  Made him rut his hips forward, cock throbbing with need, fingers sore from being fisted too tightly.  Tears tracked down his cheeks, his gag reflex pushed to the breaking point as Jesse all but choked himself on Gabe.

 

Gabriel tried to gentle him, to get Jesse to calm his relentless pace— one hand sifting through his hair, the other petting over his jaw.

 

“Easy, baby, easy.  You’re doing so good, but there’s no rush.  Take your time, slow down a little,” he said, voice strained as he eased Jesse off his cock and coaxed his face up.  

 

Jesse didn’t know what Gabriel saw in his expression, but he felt desperate.  Frantic, and urgency burned bright in his veins until he could taste it. Everything shrank down, and the whole world was nothing but Gabriel.  He needed to do this, needed to make Gabe happy.

 

To earn what he’d been given, this fragile warmth between them.  

 

To be worthy, when he still felt so fucking worthless inside.

 

_ “Please,  _ let me, I need to, I- I wanna be good for you, sir,”  he said, throat raw from the abuse he’d put it through, words coming out full of gravel.

 

Gabriel cradled his face like Jesse was something fragile, and furrowed his brows, a bewildered expression settling on his features.

 

“God, you really don’t know, do you?”  Gabe said, and leaned down to press a kiss on Jesse’s forehead, before pulling back.  “You’re always good for me, Jesse. You couldn’t be anything else if you tried.”

 

And Gabriel, he wasn’t a liar, not where Jesse was concerned.  He could evade, could side-step a question with terrifying skill.  Jesse might not always get the whole story from him, but the parts he did get were always true, and the honesty in Gabe’s eyes right then was visceral and overwhelming.

 

_ ‘You’re always good for me, Jesse.’ _

 

Thousands of miles from the desert, halfway around the world from where he’d been born, and Jesse had finally found home.

 

He exhaled sharply, and buried his face against Gabriel, in the soft cotton of his briefs where his hip met his thigh.  The shaky whimper he let out was muffled against fabric, and skin, and Jesse was grateful for small favors.

 

He sounded weak, and broken, and he didn’t want anyone to hear.

 

The fresh tears that slipped down Jesse’s cheeks were lost to the mess of his face, and he wiped them as best he could on Gabriel’s briefs.  Gabriel coaxed his face up again, and Jesse let him, tension bleeding out of his muscles to leave him pliant and boneless.

 

“Nice and easy, yeah?  You think you can do that for me sweetheart?”

 

Jesse could.

 

His hands weren’t clenched into fists anymore, but hung limp behind his back as he mouthed his way over Gabriel’s cock.  Strong fingers sank into his hair, and laid over his jaw, and Jesse let Gabriel guide him in a lazy rhythm. Let Gabe fuck his mouth slow, pushing into the back of his throat on every upstroke, but gently, carefully.  There was no more creeping panic, or thinly veiled frenzy.

 

Just Gabriel using Jesse as he saw fit, and Jesse didn’t have to do anything, really.  

 

He opened his jaw wide, and lapped weakly at the underside of Gabe’s cock, lashes fluttering languidly as Gabriel took what he needed.  Time shifted into something syrup-thick and meaningless, dragging on endlessly between them. The press of Gabriel between his lips, the damp curls he nuzzled into when Gabriel pushed all the way in, those long fingers in his hair.  The hushed profanities Gabe hissed out from time to time, laced with whispered praise,  _ so perfect, just that like, god, Jesse. _

 

His cock ached between his legs, but it seemed far away, unimportant, his own pleasure nothing but an afterthought.  

 

All that mattered was making Gabe feel good, and Jesse didn’t have to work at it, didn’t need to struggle.  

 

Existing there was enough, close and willing and eager, the center of Gabriel’s world.

 

_ Jesse  _ was enough, all on his own.

 

_ Fuck. _

 

The realization was a punch to the gut, and Jesse came untouched, shivering out his orgasm onto the tile and mewling pitifully around Gabriel’s cock.  His thighs spasmed with every fresh pulse of come, hips twitching, but he didn’t release Gabriel from his mouth. Latched on tighter instead, looking up at Gabe as he jerked and shuddered through his climax, wondering absently if he was in trouble for coming without permission.  It was something they’d talked about, how Jesse was always supposed to ask first, to get Gabriel’s okay. But there wasn’t anything disapproving on Gabriel’s face, nothing chiding or unhappy.

 

Surprise, and awe, and unbridled affection, Gabriel stroking his thumbs over Jesse’s cheeks.  Then he smiled, something pleased and uninhibited.

 

“You look so damn pretty.  Falling apart so easy for me, Christ, Jesse.  You okay, baby? S’it good for you?”

 

Jesse nodded without pulling off Gabe’s cock, humming out an affirmative, lust drunk and floating in a haze.  Nothing like he normally felt when he orgasmed, but something that ran deeper, down to his fucking bones. Everything was fuzzy and warm, and Jesse felt weightless in the fog of it.  Bliss, utter and all encompassing. 

 

An ocean he’d gladly drown in, tethered to nothing but Gabriel keeping him safe and whole.

 

Gabe rocked his hips forward, fucking deeper into Jesse’s mouth, slow but deliberate.

 

“Keep going, cariño,” he said, and Jesse swallowed around him, and got back to work.

 

-

 

Everything was silent.

 

Which was a good thing, as it should be; the calm before the storm they were bringing with them.  The voice in his earpiece was crystal clear, and Jesse adjusted his hat, weapon at the ready.

 

“Everybody sound off,” Gabriel ordered through the comms, and Jesse felt his nerves settle even further, felt them go quiet and calm.  “Redux?”

 

“Redux is a go.”

 

“Fallout?”

 

“Fallout is a go.”

 

“Rapture?”

 

“Rapture is locked and loaded.”

 

“Holliday?” Gabe asked, and Jesse grinned.

 

Steady hands.  Gabriel in his ear, and fire in his eyes, Jesse’s team at his back ready to roll out.

 

“Holliday’s green, sir,” he said, and heard Reyes huff a laugh.

 

“All right then.  Let’s fucking do this, on my mark.  Three, two, one.”

 

Go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have happy, poly type plans for this verse post-legacy, so rest easy, my friends.
> 
> Give me some love, you know the drill.

**Author's Note:**

> Give me some love, my thirst for it is endless and undying.


End file.
